Saturday, January 29, 2005

Missing things

Missing things

My picture today is about missing the ocean. I was raised in S. California where I could see the ocean and beaches often, especially when I could drive myself. My dad also had a boat and we used to go out fishing on the ocean which I loved. I have wonderful memories of riding on the very front of the boat with my sister, bumping up and down on the waves, hair flying on the sea breeze and singing our lungs out as my dad headed out of the harbor. There were some days that were so calm that the water seemed almost like glass and we could look down through it to see giant sea turtles, colorful fish and sea life going about their existence. Occasionally we could see the Bonita take our bait and trigger the fight to catch them. Sometimes we would see seals or dolphins or even Marlin skipping through the water, so exciting.
Sometimes when we'd get a long ways from the coast my dad would tie ropes to our life jackets and throw us out in the open water (shark bait) JK, and let us swim around and have fun while he kept a close eye on us. Once he saw a big jellyfish floating along so he got the net and caught it then put it on the other side of the boat so it wouldn't sting us. The problem was that it's stinging stuff got loose in the water somehow and we got mild stings all over our bodies! Oops!
When my dad would catch some Sea Bass or Halibut he'd clean it and have it all ready so that my mom could have it sizzling in butter shortly after we got home, she loves fresh fish so that was her treat from the trip.
I also adored going to the beach with the waves relentlessly breaking on the shore, the hot sand, the tangy air the glint of sun on the water and sail boats further out whisking along on their way. Although I never used a surf board it was thrilling to go out in the cold water and wait for a wave then swim toward shore at just the right time so I could body surf. Sometimes we'd take inner tubes and go out past the breakers and play there for a long time, when we finally came back in we'd find we had a long way to walk to get back to where we'd left our towels spread out on the sand, we had been carried far along the shore by the tide without realizing it. Well, I guess that's enough, it makes me miss it even more to write about it. It also stimulates a longing to see my dad which is impossible because he's been gone since 1995.

And while I'm missing things, I'm also missing Holly. In the evenings I always find myself trying to calculate when she'll drive in from work before I remember that she won't be. In the morning I expect to see her quietly padding up the stairs, we always call her "spook" in the morning. It has been great to talk to her each day though, and of course what would we do without e-mail? I'm anxious to get pictures of her new digs and in fact pictures of the school and all, I've never been further east than Yellowstone park. I've visited L.A. and San Francisco and even Seattle but I don't think it's the same as actually taking up residence in a big city.

Still, don't be feeling too sorry for me and please know that I'm not looking for sympathy, just enjoying looking back and very, very thankful that I have wonderful memories to look back on. I'm so glad that my memories can be bitter/sweet instead of just plain bitter.

That is another one of the great things about my daily drawing project, sometimes I do draw what's on my heart and when I do it triggers all kinds of feelings. It's a journal without words to me.

In other news, today I plan to do household chores, ummm, now doesn't that sound exciting? Bleh. Oh well, I know I always feel better and more free when I've been diligent in keeping my living space in order. I need to feel free too because I have lots of creative things that I want to do and need to do.

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